


Now Talking's Just A Waste Of Breath

by mylittleduck



Category: Fall Out Boy, Pete Wentz - Fandom, patrick stump - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-22 18:24:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6089970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylittleduck/pseuds/mylittleduck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What the hell is going on in there? I thought. As I didn't want, no one came outside yet so I had to unfortunately ring the doorbell and wait there like a dork. After 5 minutes, and some more unexplained yelling that was too muffled to understand, still no one came to answer. I rang the door bell again but still no answer. After 10 more minutes, I heard small footsteps speed towards me from inside. Then the door swung open and there stood a 16 year-old nerdy little kid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

It was the summer of 2001

(Pete's POV)

I had just found out about this boy. Joe wanted this boy to be in our new band. Joe didn't describe him much, but by the way he couldn't wait to see him again, I knew this kid must have been something special.

Joe hasn't stopped talking about this band since he met the kid at the book store a couple weeks ago. We had been in a few bands together before, but he wanted the real deal. He wanted to feel at home. He wanted to feel like he was a part of something bigger and not something that was only temporary. I agreed. I wanted something to commit to, something to get my mind off everything, I needed a distraction.

We are going to meet the kid today. Joe told me that he's only 16, which sort of worries me because teenagers don't take stuff like this seriously. They think that it's all fun and games and that they can show up to rehearsals late and blow off shows. Trust me, I've had my fair share of idiotic band members. That's mostly the reason we need a good, permanent, place to stand. To possibly even make some good money?

"8165 Jackson BLVD. I'll meet you there at 5." Joe texted me.

I'm guessing that's where our possible new band member lives. Five o'clock was only 30 minutes away and I literally nothing to do so I decided to be on my way to the kid's house before Joe. Lately, I've been trying to prove to him that I'm not always late so I might as well be about 10 minutes earlier so he doesn't give me shit.

I jumped into my car and blasted music. All of a sudden, I was sad. I had no particular reason but I felt very alone. I felt like no one cared, that if I left, no one would blink. I've been doing that a lot lately. I feel like no one understands my pain, shit, I don't even understand it. My depression has been an on and off thing for the past two years. Sure, there are people who come into my life and make it all better for a while, but then they leave. Having to pretend that they never mattered to me definitely hurts the most. Every person that leaves is like a bullet to my chest and every time I have to pretend that it's all better is another slit to my throat. I feel caged inside this hell that I can't ever escape because I've always been a coward to do anything about it. I don't have many friends other than Joe. He's a nice guy and a great friend and all but I can't open up to him without getting a "Just get over it already" or a "Stop making everything a big deal!" He just doesn't understand, that's all.

I arrived at the house. It was small, but perfect at the same time. I had a little small feeling that I would be spending a long time here. I looked at my phone to see if I was earlier than Joe. Not only was I early, but I was 20 minutes early. I walked out of my car and slammed the door super hard so that the people inside the house would know someone was here. I hate knocking on doors and waiting for someone to come outside, it's so awkward, standing there. As I walked up to the door, I heard things clashing, and I heard some yelling.

What the hell is going on in there? I thought. As I didn't want, no one came outside yet so I had to unfortunately ring the doorbell and wait there like a dork. After 5 minutes, and some more unexplained yelling that was too muffled to understand, still no one came to answer. I rang the door bell again but still no answer. After 10 more minutes, I heard small footsteps speed towards me from inside. Then the door swung open and there stood a 16 year-old nerdy little kid.

"W-Who are you? What do you want?" He mumbled, trying to ignore the loud noises from inside his home. He hadn't open the screen door yet, which I didn't expect him to since I'm a complete stranger, so I couldn't make out his face or quite much anything about him.

"I guess Joe didn't expect me to get here before him, as always." I said hoping it would ease him up a bit, he seemed really intense. " I'm Pete. You were looking to be a part of our luxurious band?" I said jokingly, still trying to chill him out.

"oh-OH! Yes yes, I was." He opened the door and motioned me to go inside. "My room is just downstairs...don't mind all the noise...sorry about that, I thought they wouldn't be here today."

I walked inside and followed him down his surprisingly really steep stairs into darkness. I heard a door slam shut and he turned on the lights. He had a very small room, but it seemed to be perfect for this little guy. Small bed, small TV, small sofa. It was kind of cute actually.

"I never quite caught your name." I mumbled while gazing at his room.

"Uh-yeah. I'm Patrick." He stuttered. I smiled at him, he still seemed really tense. What was he so nervous about? It's not like I'm a hot girl that he brought home that he's trying to impress. "So about the band.." he started. I looked at him, concentrated. I could tell that it made him a little nervous. "I don't really want to play anything, I was hoping that I could just do the lyrics for you guys." I kept walking around, studying every poster on his wall. "Is-would that be okay?" he spat out.

"We'll talk more about it when Joe gets here, we don't like to discuss anything too serious without everyone present." I mumbled while getting comfortable on his bed. He nodded and sat at the edge, next to my leg. "Why are you so nervous?" I said quickly out of curiosity.

"I-I just really want to impress you...I really want to be a part of this band. You guys seem so cool and it's my dream to be musically involved in something as great as this." He blushed as he realized that he just opened up completely to basically a stranger.

I smiled and sat up while I patted his shoulder. "It's all okay. See? I'm already liking you. I'm usually a dick to people but you don't seem to cut the 'be an ass' line." he blushed even harder. "Gosh..where the fuck is Joe?"


	2. Chapter Two

(Pete's POV)

I could be better.

I could be stronger.

I could be nicer.

I could be more considerate.

I could be less ignorant.

I could be who I used to be.

I laid there alone in the dark. I hadn't felt this lonely in a while. And when I say "a while", I mean maybe a few days. I'm not used to people being very caring towards me so sometimes being alone doesn't affect me as much. Other times, it's too much to take in all at one time, so I explode.

Joe finally arrived at Patrick's house an hour after he planned to show up. Who's the late one now? We discussed how the band would work and that Patrick shouldn't expect fame, and money, and all these gigs this soon, or at least at all. He agreed to meet at my house every week for a couple hours of rehearsal. The only problem was, he wasn't too excited about singing. Joe and I kept having to reassure him that he has an amazing voice and that he should really take advantage of that. He never completely agreed, he sort of just brushed it off.

We had been there at Patrick's house until 11 at night. We started getting really excited about what this band could become. Then reality set in when I headed home. My bipolar disorder is something that I've been dealing with since forever. One minute, I'm just normal sad. The next I get this sudden burst of happiness that feels great but goes away after a minute or two. It's like my brain is saying Oh! You thought you were happy? Haha! Think again! Now you're depressed again! Good luck! Although I've gotten pretty used to my depression as well. Will I ever be normal? Will I ever go back to the way I was a year ago? Will someone ever come into my life and actually care about my existence? Every day it just seems to get worse and worse. Every new day comes with a new reason to disappear. I keep telling myself that it'll get better eventually. Just to hold on for the ride because this won't last forever. And that's the only reason I'm still here. Me. I'm keeping myself here. No one wants to save me so I have to be my own hero. No one texts me every night making sure I'm still breathing and no one calls me every morning making sure I got through the night. All I have these days is hope. I hope for change. But nothing seems to be going in any other direction right now. I might as well just-

My phone buzzed. It's one in the fucking morning. Who could be texting me right now?

"Hey, I know we barely know each other aside from band stuff we discussed with Joe, and I know it's really crazy, but could you come over?" It was Patrick.

"Are you serious? Why? What's going on?"

"You know what? Don't worry about it, it's all good. Go back to sleep, I'm sorry I bothered you. This was a mistake."

"No no. I'm on my way."

I grabbed my jacket and sped to his house. I know what it's like to want someone in the middle of the night. They don't have to be your girlfriend, or bestfriend, or friend in this matter. Someone's presence is very reassuring and helps out sometimes. Patrick wasn't the only one feeling lonely tonight. I was doing us both a favor by going over there.

As I pulled up, He was standing in his driveway in his PJ's. He flinched at the sound of me slamming my car door and seemed frightened. Oops.

"Be quiet! They can't know you're here!" He whispered.

"My mistake, but who? Your parents?" I asked. He put his finger over his mouth signaling me to shut the fuck up.

I followed him to the side of his house and we climbed through his small bedroom window and tried not to make any noise whatsoever. His room brightened up, but everything was a mess. His blankets all over the place, his literal TV on the floor, papers which seemed to be his homework was scattered all across the room. I just stood there with a blank expression. Everything was super clean just a couple of hours ago. What does this kid have going on?

"Im-Im sorry for the mess it wasn't my fault. Can you help me clean it up since you're already here?" He stuttered nervously.

"Who's fault was it then? Who would want to come in your room and trash it? Why?" I asked concerned. He was silent as he stared at me, searching for words. I recognized that face. He was about to have the biggest meltdown in front of me. "Yeah, let me help." I quickly said as I started to gather up some of the papers on the floor. After a few a moments, he started cleaning too.

We finished at about three thirty and I could tell he was way past tired. "So, why did you need me here all of a sudden? It's not really a problem, just why?" I asked.

He sighed and threw himself onto his bed. "Why not?"

"Come on, you didn't just ask me here in the middle of the night because of 'why not'. What's going on?" He refused to answer. "We're going to be bandmates for a very long time you know, so I suggest that you go on and tell me." I say a little cockier. Still no answer. "I could wait here allllll night if you want me to. I don't have anywhere to be, no where to go. I could wait right here until you-"

"I was just lonely alright?! No one is ever here for me so I just needed someone. Okay?! Stay here if you fucking want, but I'm fucking sleeping. Goodnight." he exclaimed while throwing his sheets over him. I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Me too." I mumbled while rubbing his shoulder, hopefully comforting him.

"What?" he blurt out confused.

"I was lonely too. You telling me to come here was basically the highlight of my night to be honest. No one would care enough to text me at one in the morning and ask me to go over." I slightly laughed. "This is the most I've done at night in the past few months." I admitted.

He sat up. "I thought you had all your band friends and you know, Joe."

"Nah, I don't." I looked up at him and he looked very concerned. He seemed to be getting a little more comfortable with me. "But don't worry about me. My main concern right now is you and why your room seemed to have been bombarded by some circus."

He put his hands over his face and rested there. "Hey hey, I'm sorry if you don't want to talk about it, it's fine, it'll be okay. You don't have to tell me." I muttered quietly while rubbing his shoulder again.

He looked up at me with eyes full of tears and maybe regret. "I-" He stopped himself from speaking and cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I dragged you here, I just really needed someone. I'm so fucking tired of being alone all the time and this was probably a mistake having you here and-" he rapidly said.

"No no hey don't worry I'm so glad you asked me here." I interrupted. I pulled him into a hug. He wasn't alone. We might not be going through the same thing but we definitely feel the same. 

"I just don't want to be here anymore they make me so sick and I just want to-" He said while pulling away from the hug.

I pulled him right back. "Shhhh it's okay." We sat there with each other for a couple seconds. I pulled back, finally. "You know what? Let's get outta here." I announced.

"W-what?" He muttered trying to hold back more tears.

"Let's go, wherever you want."

He sighed. "I can't just pick up my things and leave. They expect me in the morning."

"We don't have to come back! I might not know your situation. But I do know that we need to leave. Right now. We can be happy. Together, somewhere else." I said hopefully being persuasive. 

He looked very unsure. "Help me pack." He finally insisted. We rushed to get out a suitcase for him and pack as many of his essentials as we could. After twenty or so minutes, we were ready to go. He rushed outside to my car and threw his suitcase into the trunk.

He was about to open my car door but I stopped him. "Are you sure you want to do this? Once we get in that car and drive, there's no coming back, there's not going back in time. Once we do this, it's done." He looked at me, and nodded. I smiled and rushed to the other side of the car. As soon as I knew it, we were on our way to change.

"Pete?" He mumbled quietly.

"Whats up?"

"Thank you. I think you might have saved me tonight." He said more confidently. I looked at him. 

"I'm not the only one who saved someone tonight." I smirked. 

Then, we made our way to who the hell knows where.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more to come xx  
> -the duckling


	3. Chapter Three

(Pete's POV)

People on the outside, would think I'm insane. I basically kidnapped this, now 17 year old (Joe was a little off on his birthday) guy who doesn't know how to drive yet. He's not even my friend, so why did I do it? Why did I give him a second chance to live his teenage years at least a little happy? I don't know. Maybe, I saw a little bit of me inside of him. I saw the fear in his eyes when I asked him what was wrong and who he was running from. I was him once and people don't deserve to live that way.

He was breathing very softly, cuddled up in a ball of warmth with one of my old tiger blankets. I could hear his steady breath going in and out. People would think of me as creepy, but I feel like I'm just more observant. We were back at my parents' house, where I had lived for the last 6 years of my life. My mom kept two twin beds in my room, for no reason, so it was sort of perfect for this late night situation. We didn't know what we were going to do, Patrick legally could live wherever he wanted without his legal guardians as long as he was with someone who wasn't a minor, which I wasn't. However, he didn't want to be too close to his old house in case people were to come and search for him, but he also wanted to stay to his old roots. So, we thought up Chicago. It was far but not too far that Patrick wouldn't enjoy. Joe was already thinking of moving there, he could come with us and we could eventually be an actual band. It was going to take some convincing for my parents to "let" me live in another city but I am a master of persuasion.

He started tossing and turning in his blankets and rocking his bed. It was eight in the morning and I hadn't slept one bit since we got to my house at five. It had been a long night, and I should be sleeping it off; but there was way too much to think about. He kept tossing, then eventually the shaking turned into grunts, then those turned into small gasps. Was he having a nightmare? He started breathing very hard, as if his breath was going miles above. I rapidly shot out of my comfort to make sure he was okay. 

"Shh shh Patrick wake up." I whispered while shaking his shoulder. That didn't seem to do too much so I shook him harder. "Patrick! Patrick wake up!" He flinched.

"W-what's going on?" He flashed awake.

"You were going crazy in your sleep bud, are you alright?"

He blankly looked at me. "I'm fine."

"No you're not, what happened? Are you okay? What was it a-" I insisted. 

"I am fine." he interrupted.

(Patrick's POV)

I hope he doesn't keep insisting what was going on. I'm not ready to share my hidden secrets yet.

"Come on Pat...you can tell me." He tried to hum peacefully.

"No, It's nothing. And don't fucking call me Pat." I hissed. 

He moved away onto his bed. I sighed and flipped over so I wouldn't be awkwardly facing him. I checked the time, 8:30. I could hear birds chirping and the loud noises from the street outside. Was this, how it felt to be woken up so late? I'm usually forced awake at six, or dawn. Depending on what mood they were in. I was to do early morning routines, exercises that I'd rather not discuss. I was still terribly tired, as if I never had a minute of sleep. However, it's my duty to start the day.

I popped out of the thick blankets and stumbled to Pete's bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I could hear him shuffling around as I started the shower. Then I realized that I had forgotten to get extra clothes. Crap. I messed around with my hair trying to build of the confidence to go back out there and grab what I needed. Little things like this, will give me the worst anxiety. As soon as I knew it, without thinking, I threw the door open, hoping I would just have to get my bag and leave. But what I witnessed was more than I bargained for. Pete had been standing there, completely exposed. We stood there in silence, staring at each other awkwardly.

"I-I'm sorry, I just needed something from my bag." I spat out. I zoomed to my bag and ran back to the bathroom, trying not to see the naked little man again. 

I breathed heavily. I had never been more embarrassed in my life. Making good first impressions was certainly not something I practiced, so you could imagine how terrible I was at them. Considering Pete didn't yell at me and/or freaked out, we wouldn't have to talk about what we both experienced, in the future.

My shower was delightful. I hadn't taken a really nice and long shower in days-no weeks. They didn't think showers were important. As I exited the bathroom, Pete was lying on his bed, silently. "Hey!" I exclaimed happily-wishing he wouldn't bring up any events from half an hour ago.

"...can we talk...about what happened?" He mumbled while sitting up. He looked concerned.

"W-Why? It's seriously not a big deal. So what I accidentally saw you naked, Pete? Guys always do that, it's a guy thing. Stop being a little bitch." I said trying not to be flustered. 

"Well fucking alright then." He hissed while striving to blast out of the room.

"Pete, I didn't want to sound r-"

"No, it's fine. We don't need to fucking talk about it, it's fine." He cut me off. We stood there staring at each other. His breathe was steady, while my pulse was racing.

"A-Are you embarrassed or something? Is that was this is about?" I asked, a little more sympathetically. 

"No. Patrick, it's fine. We don't have time for this, we still have to pack and shit. Just get your stuff ready so we can get the hell out of here already." He stormed out of the room.

"Alright then." I mumbled while I started to pack my clothes.


	4. Chapter Four

(Patrick's POV)

I stumbled down the stairs after I finished packing my essentials, to find Pete having breakfast with his adoring mother.

"You ready to go?" he mumbled still hanging his head low.

"Yeah, sure thing." I sighed. Was he still bummed about that incident? It's not like he has a small load or anything. There's nothing to be ashamed about, he's perfect.

We threw our bags into our trashy van. Pete kissed his mother goodbye while she sighed at the fact that her son was now moving about an hour away with some boy she only met 6 hours ago. I waved at her, but she turned her back and strutted to her front door. Did I mention how great I am at first impressions? Pete jumped into the driver's seat while I joined right beside him. The engine gleamed on and we were ready to go.

As we headed to the freeway, Pete had still not spoken one word to me. "Are you ever going to talk to me again or are you going to ignore your, now roommate, forever?" I chuckled. He just kept driving without giving me any signs that he was aware of my presence. "Okay okay, I'm sorry."

He sighed. "It's fine" he finally came to. I filled up with relief.

"Okay..." I said smiling. He looked over and looked at me, also smiling. I loved it when he smiled, it's somehow reassuring. Chicago was going to be amazing with him.

**Two weeks later**

(Pete's POV)

I woke up to excessive pounding at our front door. Whoever was there, was eager to come inside. I opened my eyes with the sun was hitting me directly in the face. I stumbled out of my bed, trying not to fall over as I was still heavily exhausted from the night before. I sort of jogged to the door and threw it open.

"HEYYYYY" Andy Hurley exclaimed as he pulled me in for a hug. "I've been throwing punches at your door for what seems like an hour."

I chucked. "Sorry, I was still fast asleep." I looked over at our clock and it had already been one in the afternoon, I went pale.

"Asleep? This late? What did you do last night?" He stupidly asked while throwing his bags into the "room" he was going to be staying in for the next few days. It's not really much of a bedroom if we could mistake it for a closet.

I blushed. "N-Nothing in particular." He raised his eyebrows at me.

He studied me and looked quite judgmental. I looked down at my body and realized that I still had my day clothes on from the previous day. "No pajamas? Not even sweats? And where's Patrick?"

"I'm not too sure. It was a crazy night, Andrew." I mumbled while locking up my door again.

He frowned at the new nickname. "Well!" he exclaimed while laying on my couch. "We have all week that I will be staying here for this story of yours that I must now know. Make yourself comfortable, 'cause I'm not leaving this couch till I hear it."

I sighed. "Okay, well, it started yesterday morning-

_Patrick and I had finally felt at home. People tend to underestimate how overwhelming moving can be. You get so used to one place then as soon as you know it, you're in this totally completely different space that you weren't too comfortable with yet. I definitely took it harder than Patrick._

_The first few nights were the worst. I deal with anxiety and depression, so my old bedroom was kind of my "safe place". I could go there and feel safe and be myself without worry. I didn't comprehend how hard it was going to be to have to abandon that place as a whole. Sadly, Patrick didn't understand what I was going through. I felt miserable, and alone. I might be exaggerating, but feeling like you didn't have a home, or feeling like you didn't know who you were anymore is probably the most difficult feeling to deal with, and to overcome._ _Shifting to somewhere new completely slapped me in the face. I wasn't prepared. As you probably could've noticed, change is my worst enemy. I like to keep things steady and-_

"It's just a house!" Andy exclaimed, interrupting me.

I hushed him and shook off his insult as I continued the story-

_and I want everything to always tend as normal. However, life changed for me all of the time. I certainly couldn't stop nature from taking its course and throwing me some adjustments here and there._

_Eventually, the little apartment became my own little home. We even set old and empty root bear bottles on one of our higher shelves for decoration, they didn't last long unbroken, but they were a good sight while they lasted. Patrick had the bedroom closest to the living room, while mine was in the back, closer to our moderately sized bathroom. There was only one bedroom left, which belonged to Joe Trohman, that was on the opposite side of the apartment from Pete's room. Actually, there seemed to be a large closet that could be mistaken for a bedroom, no one claimed it yet, but someone could definitely vacation in there._

_Patrick was very grateful for our new home. He spent most of his days in our living room, singing (when he thought I wasn't listening) and creating new wonderful music that I knew that could be something one day. I'll take those beautiful noises to my grave. I started to sense him getting closer to me every day, he started to get more comfortable with me with every moment that passed. It was like-_

The door bell rang. "Vegan pizza's here!" Andy yelled while rushing for the door.

"What the hell Andrew." I huffed.


	5. Chapter Five

**Pete's POV**

We sat down at my dining table with Andy's surprise pizza as I began my story-

_It was like we were almost kind of in a relationship, I'm not gay or anything, he had just grown on me. We did everything together, considering we shared a lot of our mental problems. I helped him out of a bad situation, and he helped me out of mine. I owe him my life. Now, we should scratch that "I'm not gay" part out. I might be insane, but I might have grown some feelings for Patrick. It was wrong in so many ways, and I could tell he wasn't interested in me or in relationships at all. Plus, dating him would literally be illegal, he's a minor still._

_So, let me tell you what happened at the party. Joe and I wanted to invite some friends over and the idea sorta just turned into a party. Patrick and Joe watched movies all day by themselves while I went out to buy party essentials. I wouldn't have pegged Patrick as a party person, so I was very intrigued to see how the night was going to go. When I got back to the apartment, Patrick and Joe had been cuddling in their sleep. I didn't think much of it, like I said, Patrick didn't seem interested in relationships. Nor did Joe even seem gay. I had set all the groceries down and woke them up from their slumber. The party was supposed to start in 30 minutes so they needed to get up and get ready._

_During the party, I couldn't find Joe and Patrick anywhere in the haze of beer. Our crowded apartment seemed to get smaller and hotter every minute. Our friends seemed to be having a really good time, although, no one new where Patrick or Joe was. I looked around, and I finally found them. I don't even want to repeat what I saw-_

"Just say it!" Andy blabbered out.

I sighed and slumped down in my chair-

_They were making out, Hurley. I felt my chest explode in millions of pieces and I felt sharp pains run down my arms, down to my fingers. I stood there, watching. The drunk haze they were both in probably shadowed their surroundings, including me. They didn't notice me until I started yelling. Patrick was so confused to why I was upset, he said, "I thought I made it obvious that Joe and I were a thing...". My heart felt...no my heart didn't feel anything because Patrick took that part of me and smashed it to the ground. I couldn't be upset, they were the same age, they had same interests, their parents were even friends. I couldn't be upset. I stormed out of the room and shouted for everyone to get out, including Patrick and Joe. They probably slept at a friend's house and fucked or something. I could care less. Patrick and I, were never going to to be "a thing" anyway. Now all I can do is move on._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _**xx Author's Note** _
> 
> _**Hi! so sorry this chapter is so short, I had to get that small idea out of my system! Hope you ducklings are doing well! Till next time, stay awesome.** _

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! xx  
> -the duckling


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